Sunday, July 26, 2009

im not your boyfriend baby

i havent blogged in a while
didn't i say ill forget about it? :P
well let me summarize what happened since the last post
my grandmother passed away (bless her soul)
then i went to united kingdom for a week
when i came back
i got infected
so i fell ill
im still sick right now
last few days were spent at a motivational camp in port dickson
with my bachelor friends
it was fun
sexy ;)

the trip to uk and pd makes me want to find a gf :P
so gatal right?
i just want one to play with
bodily ;)

im always insecure
every girl is like that
we all have our own insecurities to face
either when your alone or with others
i judge people
and i try to be something i perceive is better than them

i admit
im a commitment phobic person
i cant really stand talking about relationship with the person im with
or when they start talking long term things
or how long we've been together
and etc
i get insecure about several things
one of it is
im scared they'll leave me for their friends
i hate it when they are having fun with their friends
in MY head
its as if their friends are better than me
and i get jealous
SUPER jealous
even when i try not to be possessive
i have my moments when it falters
the other thing is
i dont like my partner to lie to me
its a fear that was installed in me since i was young
due to my experiences with the men in my life
im scared that they would do things behind my back
i.e. cheating, having fun with others, etc
i hate hate HATE that

i love my friends :)
especially the girls ;)
you guys know who you are
(okay lepas ni belanja me makan ;) )

love love the sexy people in camp ;)


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